This blog post has been authored by Stand Out Online Member Christy Mirabello, Christy Jade LLC
Hello Queens. I’m so excited you are here. Today we’re gonna talk about five things to do at the start of your healing from abuse journey. So whether you are in it and trying to claw your way out, or you are kind of on the other side and starting to heal, or you’ve been on the outside for a little bit, but still feeling like you just have a lot of work to do. These are some of the things, some tips that I myself did at the beginning of my journey and wanna share with you all.
1. Recognizing the bigness of it because it was way bigger than I realized.
Not just the the actual abuse, but the actual healing and the damage that had been done. So you might need to take a minute to really recognize like this is a big deal and validate yourself. Get validation from someone you trust close to you. And giving yourself grace, knowing this is huge and this, it might take me some time and, and I might take a step back or I might have really hard days, but you’re going to keep moving forward.
2. Journaling the heck out of my experience.
This is not for the faint of heart, but actually pen to paper, I take it back, no pen to paper. I put it in my computer where I could lock it up and nobody could see it, where I just journaled my experience and what happened. And that was truly therapeutic for me. I did shed some tears. It was hard to write it out, to say it out loud to even though it was to myself saying things out loud that I never really reflected on, I didn’t wanna think about. Um, and that’s something you can do in therapy if you feel like you need more support. I did a lot of it on my own, but I also talked to my therapist about some of it.
3. Got my yoga on.
I did hip hop dance my whole life. Yep. I’m gangsta. Me and Snoop doing it up. I hated anything slow. I quit ballet. It was too slow. I did yoga in my twenties and was just like, I’m bored. But in later years, I knew that I had to reset my nervous system. Your nervous system after abuse gets shook. I’m telling you, give yoga a chance. You will thank me. Try meditation as well. Something calming. Alright, surrounding yourself, sorry.
4. Surrounded myself with healthy, positive people. This one’s huge!
A lot of us who have dramatic upbringings or just, you know, kind of chaotic environments also tend to attract people that are dramatic or are in similar situations. I found that I had chosen some friends that I had to walk on eggshells around or were controlling, right? So I had to really evaluate who I was hanging out with, surrounding myself with and adjust accordingly. Basically, I did remove a couple of friends from my life after realizing that I wasn’t being treated as well as I would like. I’m not saying you gotta go hack off all your friendships. I had specific situations where it became prominent that it just wasn’t a good fit for friendship anymore and good luck.
Let’s go through what healthy positive people look like. And this did leave more room in my life for those people. So people that are not gossipers, that are not always talking about other people, that’s, that’s healthy, right? People who talk about interesting things and not about other people. Uplifting people!
The cheerleader types. I have a couple people in my life that I mean are, are really like cheerleaders for me. And it felt really weird at first because I wasn’t used to that. But we deserve it.
This last one is super simple, but that’s okay. Like we need simple guys. We need simple. After all the we’ve been through, we deserve simple, like positive affirmations. You’ve probably heard it, maybe it sounds hokey. I don’t care. It’s simple and it actually works. This is something I did right away on my journey. I actually recorded my own voice saying, probably 25 positive affirmations.
If you need help setting up some affirmations or you want some of mine, I have some I can send to you. So write me at fiercemamac@gmail.com. It was just on my iPhone voice recording. And I would listen to it right when I woke up and then right before I went to sleep every night. You have all these swirling to-do lists on top of this negative self-talk you may have from the abuse. And replacing that, being forced to listen to positive affirmations really helped me and I know it’ll help you too.
Another thing, if you’re a God person, which I am, GO JC- prayer really helped, it’s helped me on this journey. It’s helped me in everything in my life
Also having faith. Just having faith that yes, I’ve been through this, but I’m strong enough to get through this and I’m going to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and walk this path and believe that this is where I’m supposed to be, like it or not. And I’m gonna be in a better place soon.
Girl, if you are over the lack of peace, the lack of setting boundaries, not feeling confident, questioning yourself, it is time to get some coaching. This is what I do, this is my specialty, it’s what I love. And I can help you more quickly than you think. If you wanna grab a call with me, I am offering $20 off of the first call and there are only 10 spots a week and they fill up quickly. So definitely act now if you’re interested and you can find me over at https://bit.ly/FIRSTCOACHINGCALL to set that up. I look forward to helping you go from surviving the thriving cuz you deserve to be the queen you have always been. Let’s chat.
Hi! I am Christy Jade. I am a life coach who specializes in helping women find peace and freedom after narcissistic abuse.