This blog post has been authored by Stand Out Online Member Engracia Sleeswijk, ESleeswijk Consultancy
In the old days, messages were passed on by foot courier. This courier generally had to walk (or run depending on the message’s urgency) for days to get the news across. His responsibility was then to wait for the answer to bring it back to the message’s sender. The delivery of a message was subject to the carrier’s speed and ability to protect the news until the task was completed. Although the courier was not included in composing the letter, he knew that his contribution was indispensable. On the other end, the receiver of the message was more focused on the content of the news than the one who delivered it.
Today we live in a time in which outward appearances contribute a lot to receiving and processing the message. Marketers have elevated this fact to a high level of art to packaging even the unpleasant things in life in a more accessible message. Because of this fact, the message sticks. Also, the frequency at which a message must be sent before the recipient processes it into action is studied. To arrive at conversion (buying, enrolling etc.) a study has been made of the human psyche. And this is the essence of this blog.
We live in times where the message has to be conveyed quickly and simply because there is an overload of information and channels. Based on this fact, people are used to remembering the most extreme images without getting the silent core message within them. In the workplace (especially in technical fields), women are ignored and treated harshly because of the “picture of the tall white male.” When the message comes in and from another source than expected, the mind suffers a “syntax error.” Professionals are convinced that a valid (technical) message can never come from a woman. Imagine the time spent in the workplace convincing professionals of simple truths.
Not only must the message be well packaged, messages are also packaged to adhere to people’s (sometimes primary) reactions. Think about the many fake profiles built on the internet. Extreme exploitation of this fact occurs in the “Catfish method,” in which someone represents themselves in a way to gain access to someone who would not give access to themselves if all the facts were visible. Knowing that access would be denied, people resort to this method. In the workplace, this may mean that peers may not always be honest with you because of the way you need the message packaged.
“Life is already so serious; Lie to me,” said a woman who wanted to be seduced; “Do not give me your normality, but seduce and entertain me”. Ask, and it is given – resulting in much heartbreak.
Although this is an extreme situation, we all tend to determine how we want to receive a message. The “keeping it real” generation doesn’t want anything “real.” They experience the harshness of life as indigestible and only want messages that appeal to their sensitivity. Because of this, they lack the sensitivity that comes through in the action of others – for example: someone who lies to you in situations where it is not necessary will lie when under pressure.
Lie to me is an attitude that permeates our workplace in which the sensitivity around understanding a message takes more time than the message itself. A professional would do well to think about the way he sends and receives messages.
Follow the silent core of the message. For example, when asked for an update on a task, it does not mean that “they” don’t trust you to handle the job. Nobody checks upon you; It simply means that an update is needed in relation to the progress. When management indicates to “want to see more of you as a professional,” this means that there is a performance issue. Show your level of understanding and receiving the message and its silent core. It is the difference between thinking to know and to know(for a fact). Both will pay off; the question is, will it also turn out to be profitable.
“The absence of a message sometimes is a presence of one”
My name is Engracia Sleeswijk and I’m a Business Coach who loves to help people progress. Trusted by thousands I help you transform your life into the life you’ve envisioned.