This blog post has been authored by Engracia Sleeswijk, ESleeswijk Consultancy
In these uncertain times, it is a comforting thought to know that you have support. A support system can be used by you to gain support in your private or work life. Support systems are the foundation of an individual. For a professional, it is important to see those within these systems for who they are versus whom you want them to be. “Don’t look for love in a public place.”
How is a professional expected to survive? Many professionals appear not to show up as themselves because they are wounded within the work environment. By a colleague who runs off with a good idea who takes and receives the credits for it. Or someone who systematically works against them, making the easy things difficult. This behavior hinders them in their progress and makes them appear nonfunctional in the workplace—so much potential, so little output.
The trick is to see the people in your (work)environment for who they are, not whom you (based on your social values) want them to be. The insight will help you to keep the conversations you have in the right group , providing you with the correct output to progress. E.g., your message towards management should be on management level, and your message to co-workers is on the co-worker level. There are three groups you will encounter in both the social or the workplace:
1. Confidants. The smallest group you will encounter. These are the people you can trust. They are for you. You can be your authentic self, and they will not judge you. They are not here because of who and what you are in the world; They love you for you, and they know you. You can be transparent with them; therefore, you never get tired when you are around them.
2. Constituents. This group is very different from confidants. They line up with “The Cause.” They are not for you. They are for what you represent. Know the difference; they are not for you; they are attracted to your direction. If you confuse them for a confidant, you will get your heart broken because you will misread their signals and open yourself up to them.
3. Comrades. These people are not for you or your cause. They are for what you are against. Sometimes people only join you when you have a common enemy. They will look like your team in the trenches, but they will turn around and attack you when the fight stops.
Of course, you will go wrong,regrouping people. This is okay; give yourself the grace of “moving on.” The longer you let these kinds of mistakes gnaw you, the slower your progress. Give things the attention they need, learn from them, and move on.
To grow up means realizing that many of your friends’ aren’t your friends.
I’ve been privileged to Teach, Coach, and help thousands of professionals and entrepreneurs to get to their sweet spot in life. I do coaching in translating business models to everyday life for you to get your future within arms-length.
Helping others to further their life has been an energy source for me for the last 20 years.