This blog post has been authored by Toni Bubb, Professional Lover of Life
Do you feel different? You just know something is different but, you can’t quite explain it? Maybe you can remember exactly when you started feeling this way. It could have been a moment, an interaction, a blog, a video or person you spoke to. Or maybe it’s something that has been developing over time. Regardless, something has changed. You feel a sense of relief. You feel free, more aware, truly in tune with your senses and God.
Then all of a sudden reality smacks you in the face. You are still living in the rat race. You are still going through the motions necessary to survive. You have this urge to just quit it all and go explore the world, be in nature and discover what this new life has to offer. But you can’t. That would just be crazy. What would your spouse think, what would your family and friends think, and how would you survive without your job? The thing you have identified with for so much of your life. Since the age of five, we hear the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” That label of doctor, nurse, lawyer, teacher, coach, etc. has taken over the true YOU.
The chains have now been broken, and the freedom you feel is unexplainable but, now what? Now that you have this awareness how do you continue to live your life? Things just aren’t the same. It almost feels like you are living in someone else’s body. And work? If you thought things were bad before, it’s only a matter of time when it starts to feel like you are living in a prison and your mind and body will literally not be able to stand it any longer. Even if things are great at work, you start questioning is this really what my heart desires? Is this what I have been placed on this Earth to do?
I’m not going to lie, this is both a liberating and scary place to be. Even though my journey of awakening may have started when I quit my job and moved to an island five years ago, it wasn’t until last year when I lost my business and boyfriend at the same time did I get my BIG smack in the face. I’ve been challenged with emotions and circumstances that have been completely foreign to me, and to be quite honest, extremely frustrating at times. I didn’t want to quit my business, and quite frankly I still haven’t completely let it go. But there are some strong forces and signs at hand that are guiding me into a completely different direction.
I didn’t want to go at first. I was resistant, stubborn and believed that if I kept trying I would achieve my goals. Little by little, I’ve started to give in and surrender. All of these thoughts and circumstances started coming to my mind throughout the day, and I am learning some of the biggest life lessons I have ever encountered. It’s almost like I am reliving the most significant times in my life and each moment is teaching me something I have never known. Each circumstance feels like a spiritual tap on the shoulder. A gift of awareness to use as I move forward in life.
On the outside opportunities were popping up, I was exploring new avenues, and I was truly devoting my time to self-care and deep reflection. I was so excited about the doors that were opening and completely open-minded to something new.
Then something happened that was completely unexpected. The opportunities I was excited about didn’t end up being what I thought, I turned some down and others just didn’t come to fruition. What was going on? I’ve never gone through this before. I was ready with fiery passion to dive in and start contributing towards a team and mission again; something bigger than me.
After you go through an awakening it becomes very difficult to just take a job or go work somewhere. Your integrity is at a level where it just won’t allow you to live a life that feels like a lie. Some people might ask,” Why wouldn’t you keep trying with your business?”
With the support of my healer Jai Westgard, self-reflection and when I was creating my videos for my business, I realized there was a side of me that wasn’t being fulfilled. That is my creative side. It was being brought to my awareness that this creativity was more than just a hobby, it is part of my new vocation and career path I wanted to explore, but I wasn’t quite sure what that looked like yet.
Last week, when more and more opportunities fell though or were not in alignment with my heart’s desire I realized I needed to take another step back and just listen.
When I did my meditations and intentions for 2019, the first words that came to my mind were fun and creativity. Even though I am very passionate about the work I do, I realized I wasn’t fully being true to what I was being called to do.
I’ve helped hundreds of people make career transitions, but I realized last week that this was going to be more than the typical career transition. I am looking for my new home. A place that will accept me even though I wasn’t able to get my startup off the ground. A team that will embrace all of the good qualities I have to bring to the table, rather than looking at me and saying you don’t have the experience or you’re not qualified. Leaders who embrace personal and professional development and want to support my passion for human sustainability, especially in the workplace. Most importantly, an opportunity to express my ideas, innovation, creativity, problem-solving and compassion with this world in this new role that right now doesn’t have a name yet.
So, I am on a new journey. If you feel called to follow and learn please do. To me my vocation is just as important as the man I will marry someday. I will not settle. I do believe there is a perfect fit out there where we both can grow and contribute to each other’s success and happiness, and yes I’m talking about my career. Not a job. So just know wherever I end up my entire heart, mind, and soul will be in it.
This is a time of deep self-reflection, confusion, and celebration. As challenging as it might be, I want to assure you that the more you listen to your inner voice and intuition, the more rewarding the experience will be. I am going to share with you tips and ideas that will help you through this transition. Your first exercise is to start listening to what your heart’s desire is and begin exploring where that path leads you.
Shine,
Toni Bubb, Professional Lover of Life
About the Author: Toni Bubb, Professional Lover of Life is a Human Sustainability Advocate, Creative Consultant, and Spokesperson. Her WHY is to make someone smile or laugh each day, in order to ignite their desire to shine their light in the world. She has a deep dedication to interweaving both self-transformation and creativity. Toni loves to travel, meet random people, take road trips, be in nature, dance and be goofy! In her work, you can find her Igniting High Vibe Brands and Representing Wellness and Lifestyle Brands via media. For inquiries contact her directly at toni@tonimariepll.com