This blog post has been authored by Stand Out Online Member Carrie Anne Yu, Conscious Ignite
According to a 2021 study out of the University of Scranton, only eight percent of people ever achieve their New Year’s goals. On the surface, this is a rather demoralizing statistic: If over nine out of 10 people are unable to meet the targets they set for themselves personally and professionally—including making more money, career advancement, getting in shape, starting a company, getting married and having a family—then what can a person do to make their dreams a reality?
When I’m working with my coaching clients, I find it’s helpful to take a step back—to look not just at the goals themselves, or at ways to make them happen, but at what factors are holding them back to begin with.
Unfortunately, a lot of us are suffering from mental blocks that we may not even know about. That’s because these blocks are within our unconscious mind. Our unconscious is the repository of memories, desires, fears and feelings that we may be unaware of at a conscious level. For instance, maybe a person has a long-standing fear of dogs due to one encounter with an unfriendly dog during their toddler years. This person likely has no recollection of the incident in question, as that memory is locked away in the unconscious mind—but the fear of dogs may persist throughout their life.
More importantly, we internalize values, judgments and perceptions that come to us through formative outside sources, such as interactions with our parents, grandparents and other adults around us. This can adversely impact both personal life and career progression. Say, for instance, a young girl experiences negative attitudes toward women taking on career roles outside the home; maybe during her childhood she was exposed to disparaging comments about working women or witnessed a female acquaintance or relative being treated with disdain or contempt due to a decision to pursue a career. She may not even remember these incidents. However, as an adult, she may constantly experience anxiety or guilt around her career decisions, or feelings that she is unworthy of professional success, and wonder why.
The values of our most formative early influences—usually our parents and other people in our homes as children—are, in a sense, coded into us. Sometimes these can be positive: If our earliest family experiences reinforced our self-worth and self-efficacy, these beliefs can serve us well throughout our lives.
But many times, these early influences do the opposite: they instead result in self-limiting beliefs, anxieties and self-abnegation. Moreover, they cause us to engage in behavior patterns that undermine our chances of career and life success: routine procrastination, second-guessing ourselves, self-sabotaging, or a level of risk aversion that causes us to miss out on opportunities—not even applying for that dream job or promotion. These are all manifestations of these self-limiting beliefs, resulting from our own self-sabotaging mentalities.
Bringing our unconscious mind into alignment and reconciliation with our conscious mind requires a level of self-awareness that many people are unable to achieve independently. Individuals who are struggling with achieving goals and don’t know why may find it helpful to work with an objective outside observer, such as a therapist or a professional coach, who can help them identify thought and behavior patterns that may be holding them back from advancing in work or life.
Ultimately, to break out of these self-limiting beliefs, it’s important to change one’s thinking, particularly in areas when self-abnegating thoughts have been dominating our lives for far too long. When I’m working with clients, I try to help them develop what’s called a “growth mindset”—that is, an inherent belief in one’s own ability to constantly learn new skills, gain new capabilities and improve. People who have a growth mindset do not see failures as the end of the road, or as confirmation of the self-limiting, critical beliefs they’ve internalized throughout their lives.
Rather, they see failures (frustrating as they may be) as opportunities: for gaining knowledge and skills, for trying new methods, for altering course and achieving different goals than they might have set out to.
Crucially, people who have a growth mindset do not look for affirmation in others. They are able to shrug off the negative values and judgments heaped upon them by people around them, instead of internalizing these beliefs as truth. Instead, they work to align their beliefs, actions, and efforts towards setting career or personal goals, working mindfully towards them, and self-actualizing. Unclouded by these counter-productive outside influences, individuals with a growth mindset have clarity about their own purpose and dreams.
I find that once individuals can gain that clarity—aligning their conscious and unconscious, and adopting a growth mindset—it is only a matter of time before they achieve whatever it is they’ve set their mind to. An individual who knows who they are, what they want to achieve, and has an unwavering belief in their own power to get it done is an unstoppable force of nature.
Carrie Anne Yu is a globally recognized speaker, author, and breakthrough coach with a remarkable track record of success. With her expertise, she has trained and empowered over 18,000 entrepreneurs around the world, with an impressive 21 individuals achieving seven-figure incomes under her guidance.
In a display of her extraordinary abilities, Carrie transformed a struggling company into a multi-million-dollar income generator within a single year, even though she had no prior experience in the industry. Her unwavering belief in the potential for individuals to live their best lives serves as a guiding principle in her work.
As the founder of Conscious Ignite, a renowned firm specializing in human transformation, she has become a go-to resource for results-driven individuals seeking to unlock their full potential. Through her unique approach, Conscious Ignite Creations, which incorporates elements of neuroscience, epigenetics, quantum physics, and over 5000 years of universal knowledge, Carrie has enabled thousands of action-takers to fast-track their ambitions and achieve their full potential.
Carrie is not only a successful entrepreneur and coach but also an author. Her book, Create Lifetime Loyal Customers: 7 Success Principles to Attract More Customers in Any Business Even in the Toughest Economies, showcases her expertise in customer retention and acquisition strategies.
In addition to her global influence, Carrie has made a significant impact in mainland China, captivating an audience of over 100,000 people through Chinese social media platforms. Her expertise has also earned her recognition as one of the top 10 WeChat influencers in the Hong Kong district. Carrie’s insights and expertise have been sought after by media outlets, including an interview as a guest on GuangDong TV in 2017 and 2019.
Carrie’s outstanding leadership and contributions to the field of education have been recognized through the Education 2.0 Conference Outstanding Leadership Award bestowed upon her by the Education 2.0 Conference in Dubai in 2023. Additionally, she is a thought leader of the Forbes Council, sharing her advice on business growth and unlocking human potential by publishing content on Forbes.
Driven by her mission to support entrepreneurs, achievers, and leaders, Carrie is dedicated to helping individuals unleash their inner power, overcome limitations, and truly reach their full potential. Through her transformative coaching and guidance, she empowers her clients to turn their dreams into reality and achieve remarkable success at an accelerated pace.